Friday, June 29, 2012

Preconception appointment...sort of


Yesterday evening we had an appointment for a preconception visit with one of the midwives at the birth center that we visited a few weeks ago. I was a bit anxious and nervous about this appointment because I was still concerned that my health conditions would make them nervous and say that they couldn't accept me as a patient. So, I formulated my list of questions, had my list of medications and supplements printed out, and was trying to be as prepared as possible. Unfortunately, the appointment didn't go as well as I would have hoped, but it also wasn't as bad as I had feared.

We got to meet with the midwife and a student midwife. Right off the bat I told them a little about my health situation and handed over my list of medications. The medications themselves don't seem to be a problem, but because handling patients with chronic Lyme disease is fairly new for them, they couldn't guarantee that I would be able to work with them and give birth at the birth center. They want me to see a maternal fetal specialist (or going to a Lyme literate OB/GYN would have also been an issue) to get a determination of whether it will be safe for me to give birth there. They have someone that they have an informal relationship with who apparently respects the mother's wishes so he wouldn't just automatically say that I needed to be in a hospital (which is my fear) so the midwife will be calling him today to give him a little information about me and see if I would be able to see him before actually being pregnant. And then she'll call me sometime early next week, most likely. Then I'll see this specialist and one of three options is like: a) I'm told that I'm high-risk and need to give birth in a hospital; b) I'm told that I'm NOT high-risk and will be cleared to give birth at the birth center (or wherever I choose); or c) I'm told that I'm not high-risk but that I should really be followed by this specialist in addition to being able to work with the midwives and give birth at the birth center. Obviously, I'm hoping for option b but I would take c just as easily and if it comes down to a, I'll deal with that.

So, another step to take in this process. And my anxiety and nervousness continues and will most likely continue until I've seen this new doctor and gotten some answers from him. My fear is that I will be deemed high-risk and told that I have to give birth in a hospital. That isn't the end of the line as far as options go. I could go to a few other birth centers and see what they think. I could explore homebirth. There is a place in Tennessee (The Farm) where they might be more willing to take me on as a patient. But the bottom line is that if I am actually deemed high-risk, I see it as unlikely that anyone outside of a hospital would be willing to work with me. I'm trying really hard not to jump immediately to that scenario. I know that giving birth in a hospital wouldn't be the end of the world, but right now it is so far from what I want that it's hard to be okay with that. I have looked into the hospitals around here and there is one that has natural birth rooms with birth tubs and would be okay if I needed to go that route.

I am trying to remain as calm as possible and focus on the fact that whatever happens, it won't change us moving forward to have a baby. I may just have to alter my idea of what the birth will be like. Again, not the end of the world but just a bump in the road. I'm used to bumpy roads. I just wish, for once, something could be easy.

I'll update again when I know more about this specialist and what the next step(s) will be.

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